Category Archives: Random Musing

Dave: Tessa and I decided to take an evening class together. I voted for oil painting, woodworking or pottery. Tessa voted for Indian cooking, jewellery making or yoga… we needed a second vote. My next choice was co-ed ball hockey, Tessa picked … 101 ways to torture your husband. After a third round of voting we agreed on Pilate’s for core strength. Seeing as we both have many sports injuries, that have now turned into carrying the groceries injuries or getting out of bed to go pee in the middle of the night injuries, it seemed like a great idea.

I pulled on my best pair of cutoffs and grabbed a towel (who needs a mat) and off we went. Once in the gym I noticed it was me and eighteen women, all in very stylish workout gear (except for Tessa who had her baggy track pants on with gravy stains). The teacher told us to put our hands on our mid section, just below our bra straps, and take a deep breath so our breasts stuck out……. I could hear the ball hockey game starting down the hall.

After an hour of breathing, pelvis thrusts and exercising the muscle that holds in your urine, it was time for the body lifts… okay I’m not sure what the official name is but it’s when you lie on your back and lift everything so only your shoulder blades and feet are on the floor. It seemed easy enough… until my hamstring decided to pull… I think only the people immediately beside me heard the muffled scream coming from my tensed body. I thought this class was supposed to give us strength not injury… Tessa was having a good laugh watching me struggle. I wondered what all the other husbands were doing. I limped to the car after class… not before asking the teacher for a good hamstring stretch and if we would get a full refund if we dropped out after the first class.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this class, but I have to admit, I felt great the next morning and we both had an amazing sleep. I have a full week to rest my hamstring before our next class of: 101 ways to torture your husband.

Tessa: While Dave is off having adventures, I’ve been holding down the fort with the help of my Japanese Indestructible Underwear. There’s nothing like a piece of clothing to give you the fortitude to get through life. Friday at work was going to be a long day so I knew I was going to have to have some extra support so I went off to work wearing my Indestructibles. And you know when the going got tough and the Gravlax was giving us all the big finger and you wanted to take the dish and turf it out the window for a visit with the bobcat, I thought about my Indestructibles which have been with me for 15 years. Say what you will about Japanese products but they have staying power like nothing else. I bought them when I lived in Japan and have had them ever since. Two pairs. These days they’re pretty much retired and only called on for very special occasions like Friday. Yet like Rosie, Agatha and Salad, they have a kind of spark and durability that I admire. So screw all the crappy products that fall apart after one wash. These babies are like new and like all my other ladies they give me power!

Tessa:

For the two people who regularly read this blog and might be wondering where Dave has got to he wants you to know that he has:

• Run off to tour with The Arcade Fire. He is doing an awesome job playing the femur.

• Is training to be a matador in Spain. Pics to come of Dave in bullfighter tights.

• Running with Bulls. See Dave Run.

• Been taken prisoner by Sunnni Radicals in the outskirts of Baghdad. Watch video on Al Jazeera website.

• Is off having tea with Kim Jong Il. Hi Kim.

As soon as he returns from his adventures abroad, he will begin posting again. In the meantime,  he sends his love. Hugs and Kisses.

Tessa: I was at work yesterday when someone shouted that there was a bobcat outside. A bobcat I thought. That’s so cool. That’s so weird. So I dropped everything to wander outside to witness this wildlife miracle. Imagine. A real live bobcat right in someone’s backyard in East Van. Ohmiggod, I hope he doesn’t eat Alley (the company cat). Worse. I hope he doesn’t’ eat me… then my scattered brain immediately flashed to AHHHHHH poor bobcat. That’s so sad. He’s lost his way. So when I got outside to check out the bobcat the only thing I saw was Alley wandering around the back yard like the East Van hoodlum he is. I worried briefly for his safety. But still no sign of a bobcat. Crap. He must have taken off I thought. Then I looked up and saw this Finning Tractor like thing ploughing some abandoned oil well. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. That’s the bobcat. Ohhhhh, I said. A little light went on and the dots connected. Finally. Oh to be gullible.

Dave: Okay, I know I complained about Tessa snoring in an earlier post. And I still have that same chainsaw sleeping next to me… but now I can deal with it. We finally bought a new bed and tossed our lumpy, cauliflower padded, old one away.

We went to sleep country last week (Tessa still hasn’t stopped humming that stupid little sleep country tune) and were quickly shown to the most expensive bed on the planet. The nice lady said we of course didn’t have to buy that one… she just wanted us to try it out. So of course, every other bed we tried paled in comparison to the “ultra deluxe mega lovely cloud of comfort”….. being the shop-o-holics we are: we bought it.

So now I’m in even more of a conundrum; when Tessa wakes me with her power snoring, do I go to the couch (which used to be such a relief from the old bed and noise) or do I put up with Tessa’s massive air intake? (click hear for an example)

I’ve decided that comfort wins over sleep and have stayed through the nights since we’ve had our new bed. I was woken four times last night but was so comfortable I fell right back to sleep.

Now I have to work on the next problem; Tessa is a massive bed hog and likes to sleep in the very center of the bed. I usually have to sleep with one foot on the floor to keep me from being pushed totally from the bed.