April 3, 2008 · 10:44 pm

My Bras Are Older Than Most Dogs Grow to Be

Tessa: This weekend I am going shopping for bras. Why? Because my husband is begging me to. He says he can’t stand it anymore. I’m not sure what he can’t stand. The greyish blue colour formerly known as white, the missing underwires or the fact that they’re lumpy. By “they” I of course mean the two that I own.  I’m afraid I’m one of “them” meaning one of those people who is too cheap to want to spend money on underwear or bathing suits.

Those of you who have read my blog entry on my “indestructible Japanese underwear” will know that I’m loyal to a fault to my undergarments. It’s been 18 years for those guys and 13 for the my bras. My niece Savannah says my bras are older than most dogs grow to be. She has a point. Truthfully though. It’s not like I haven’t tried to shop for new ones. I have but I can’t figure out where to start looking. I’m befuddled by all the brand names: Triumph, New Woman, Playtex…and well whatever the others are which I can’t name because I don’t know any. I hate all the sizes and colours but mainly I hate the price tag.

I used to try and get away with buying bras in the children’s section but that hasn’t worked in quite awhile. So I’m setting out once again on a mission to find new bras. Plus I have to go for my skin cancer check-up again and I can’t bare having my elegant dermatologist see me in my lumpy bra.

3 Comments

Filed under Random Musing

March 28, 2008 · 7:41 pm

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I read Eat, Pray, Love a few months ago and have been mulling it over ever since. On my facebook reading group comments I wrote that I thought it was completely self-conscious and overrated and that except for small parts here and there I thought it wasn’t that great of a read.  

Judging from the hullaabooloo surrounding the book though, I am one of the very few to not really like it. But then again, here I am three months after the fact still thinking about it and even blogging about it. So what gives? For those of you who don’t know what the book is about Elizabeth Gilbert is a New York writer of some standing, whose marriage falls to pieces. Continue reading →

2 Comments

Filed under Book Reviews

Tagged as , , , ,

February 10, 2008 · 8:25 pm

Conversations with my Mother: The Snow Plough

My mother makes it her life’s work to mock Vancouver’s snow ploughs. Having been here once during a winter storm she still regularly likes to regale me with the same story over and over and over again how the only snow plough she saw was so small, so tiny, so incredibly meek that she couldn’t for the life of her figure out how this poor little machine that was no bigger than a lawn mower could possibly plough an entire city.  This is an example of what I have to live with.

Tessa: Gaboodle
Rosie: Gaboidle
Tessa: My mutha
Rosie: IS A TOITLE!
Tessa: What are you doing?
Rosie: I’m looking outside.
Tessa: What are you looking at?
Rosie: There is a machine out here that is unbelievable. It looks like a space ship.
Tessa: Really. What’s it doing?
Rosie: It’s taking in alot of snow and then somehow I don’t know the snow disappears. It’s just making the snow disappear. It’s incredible.
Tessa: Really.
Rosie: Yeah. Remember the snow plough in Vancouver? How small it was?
Tessa: No.
Rosie: Well, I heard on the NEWS tonight that they said Vancouver had the smallest, worst snow ploughs ever. That they were like lawnmowers.
Tessa: They did not.
Rosie: Yes. I heard it. Tonight. It was on the news.
Tessa: No. That came straight from your own personal newscast in your brain.
Rosie: Are you saying I’m lying?
Tessa: I’m saying that what you just said is something you said but not the news. News doesn’t work that way.
Rosie: Anyways. Those ones in Vancouver are so pathetic. And for a big city like Vancouver with the Olympics and everything. They better get some bigger ones. Soon. It’s a bit embarrassing driving around in such a small thing.
Tessa: Anyways.
Rosie: All of  Port Credit is looking at this machine right now. It’s incredible. It’s as big as the whole street.
Tessa: Really. Anyways. Are you excited about your birthday?
Rosie: Ach. My birthday. I’ve had so many. Why would I be. Who knows if I’ll even be alive by then.
Tessa: It’s only two weeks away.
Rosie: Exactly. You never know.
Tessa: My potatoes are burning. I have to go. Love you.
Rosie: Me too. Bye.

Leave a comment

Filed under Conversations with My Mother

Tagged as

January 15, 2008 · 2:24 am

Atonement by Ian McEwan: Book Review

I find that when I pick up one of Ian McEwan’s books, I can’t put it down until I’m done much, much later. I have read Enduring Love, Saturday and recently finished Atonement.   Continue reading →

3 Comments

Filed under Book Reviews

Tagged as , ,

December 21, 2007 · 12:16 am

The Relationship Talk

Tessa: Last night Dave and I had a relationship talk. Nothing serious just a little check in to see what’s  up. The actual talk started last week but Dave was in relationship talk denial so it took an extra seven days to really make him realize that there was no escaping me. Knowing that he wasn’t particularly keen I had to try several approaches including having the talk masquerade as another kind of conversation altogether.

A few times he walked out on the conversation because I had so cleverly disguised the relationship talk as something else that he didn’t even know we were having ‘the talk’ at all. Clearly, this called for a new methodology.  So last night I opted for the direct approach. This includes firing off many carefully thought out questions intended to give me a barometer reading of our love. Where are we? Are you bored? Are  you still in-love? Do you still think it’s cute when I don’t brush my bush head for two weeks at a time? Do you love me even if I have egg salad dripping on my chin? Do you still think I’m the best person in the room to talk to? Where’s your wedding ring and did you really lose it?

Of course, having a few glasses of wine really helps and everyone knows that alcohol loosens the inhibitions. Finally at 1:30 in the morning most likely when I was preoccupied pouring my last glass of wine, Dave leapt over the side of the couch and SPRINTED into the bed where he pretended to be asleep when I finally made my drunken giddy way there.  Hmmmmn. Maybe this might have gone more smoothly if he had thrown himself into the Christmas spirit as much as I apparently (and accidently) had. Nevermind. There’s always morning and that’s where I picked up where I had left off.

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Musing

Tagged as ,

December 18, 2007 · 7:15 pm

Saying Goodbye is Mission Impossible

Tessa: On Saturday I had the good fortune of having to go through a large obstacle course in order to leave a party at a friend’s house. When he discovered that I was planning on calling a cab two things happened: a) the telephone disappeared b) I was tackled to the ground where I had to swear Uncle that I wasn’t going to leave.  After playing this little game of lies and subterfuge I leapt up, sprinted through the kitchen and into the living room with J in tow, and screamed CELL PHONE.

One came flying my way and for the first time in my life I remembered a taxi number. I hastily dialed it while J yanked at the phone, I screamed the address in and waited. Dave came flying in behind J (I thought he was trying to rescue me but really I think he just likes playing chase). By the time the cab came Dave was wrestling J and I managed to sprint out the door and the down the steps into the cab. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get Dave out but with his shoes in hand, his jacket waving in the wind,  he flew down the stairs making his devilishly devious escape and I knew we were home free.

I breathlessly gave the cab driver our address and  sighed a deep breath of relief. Whew. Prior to our evenings out with our good friend we practice things we can say in order to make our departure a little less painful for him. Sometimes I say to Dave “Just tell him. Just tell him straight out we have to go. ” Other times we say we have to go home because of the dog. The dog can’t be alone. The dog needs us. We have to go. I’m running a race tomorrow. We have to go. Sometimes we plan on sneaking out but he has this way of knowing every time we’re even remotely thinking of leaving. This time we escaped with relatively minor wounds. Obviously it pays to watch Mission Impossible or we might never have gotten out of there. I’m beginning my ninja training in the New Year. Then we’ll see who wins this contest!

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Musing

Tagged as , , ,

December 13, 2007 · 4:39 pm

Alex Morin is a devilishly handsome genius. Funny too!

Tessa: Most people who know Alex Morin, his mother and myself included, maybe even Alex himself, would agree that he is not only devilishly handsome with those big brown chocolate eyes but he is also rather brilliant.  At three he could name every kind of truck known to humankind, by eight he had a certain finesse with the word ‘asshole’ and at fifteen he not only owns some pretty sassy dance moves but he also happens to have an encyclopedic knowledge of sports and Neil Young.  How can you trust me? How do you know I’m telling you the truth and not lying to you the way so many others might especially in my family? Well, I’m not lying because a few years back Dave and I had the pleasure of spending a little time with Alex when he was in Vancouver.

I didn’t really know him that well and worried that we wouldn’t have anything to talk about. Well it turns out I had nothing to fear because Alex is a versatile, nimble and willing participant in all conversations!  I also thought he’d be bored senseless and who knows maybe he really was and that’s where the lying part comes in but he seemed pretty happy to hang out and watch Seinfeld, go for a walk on the beach (actually I think he hated that part) watch endless movies and eat his greens. Okay that’s a lie. That guy definitely doesn’t like eating green things but really that’s very minor. When it was time for Alex to go I was actually kind of sad which is the opposite of how I feel when it’s time for guests to leave.  Most of the time I can’t wait to get rid of people and the adrenalin rush I get from the anticipation of their departure gives me a bit of a led foot when I’m on the way to airport, where I unceremoniously deposit them at DEPARTURES. BYE. SO LONG. ENJOY YOUR LIFE. Actually that’s what my cousin said to me the other day when he hung up. “Have a good life.” which indicated to me that this was to be our last conversation.

Not so with Alex though. I still like him even after his departure. And even though we don’t really talk we facebook which is even better than talking. So in the end I realized that the things that we’re great about him were the things that I mentioned above. And also the fact that even though he tries to hide it, he is actually very sweet. Oh, by the way. This is not a paid advertisement.

7 Comments

Filed under Random Musing

Tagged as , ,

November 26, 2007 · 7:03 pm

The World’s Best Most Dangerous Rum Balls Ever

I don’t want to be too crazy with the superlatives but these really are the best and most dangerous rum balls ever. Why? Because if you double the batch then you use close to 26 ounces of rum for the recipe and that’s just crazy. But they’re worth the expense and the effort. In the old days I used to make people beg and plead for the recipe but the new kinder gentler me is open to sharing. Now is the time to start making these – they get better with age. Keep them in the freezer once you’re done rolling.

12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate (don’t cheap out on the chocolate. Get the good stuff)
1/2 cup almond paste
1 cup sour cream
A pinch of salt
8 cups (or three boxes) Nilla Crackers or vanilla wafers (finely crushed)
1 1/2 cups melted butter
2/3 cup cocoa (again no cheaping out on this)
1 1/2 cups rum (any old kind but I use amber rum)
2 cups pecans crushed
5 cups REAL CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES NOT THE PLASTIC STUFF Continue reading →

72 Comments

Filed under Desserts and Cakes, Recipes

Tagged as , , , ,

November 14, 2007 · 6:51 pm

The Secret Lives of Turkeys

Tessa: This weekend Taya and Ella, our nieces stayed overnight at our house. Life sure is different with kids. On Sunday morning at 10:00 am instead of lolling about in bed, we were standing at the gates of a petting zoo, Maple Wood Farms, which is just down the road from us. It was cool because you could see all these animals up close and pet them. They had these miniature pygmy goats that were amazingly sweet and friendly, horses, cows, bunnies, chickens, geese and one single turkey.

Dave joked and said “Oh here’s Christmas dinner.” It occured to me that I knew nothing about the lives of turkeys even though I had eaten many in the past. So I went hunting and found this article. It’s not for the faint of heart but it has some interesting facts about these birds. Continue reading →

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Musing

Tagged as , , ,

November 1, 2007 · 7:24 pm

Conversations with my Mother: The Neighbour

Ring ring:
Tessa: Hello
Rosie: Gaboodle
Tessa: Gaboidle
Rosie: My mutha
Tessa: Is a toitle
After my mother and I get our traditional greeting out of the way, I wonder why Rosie is calling me for the third time this week. And in such good humour.
Tessa: What’s going on?
Rosie: Your sister is coming to stay with me this weekend.
Tessa: Oh yeah. That’s nice.
Rosie: She’s going to help me write a letter.
Tessa: What letter?
Rosie: To the neighbour.
Tessa: What for?
Rosie: The sex.
Tessa: I thought you didn’t mind her having sex.
Rosie: I don’t. But she carries on too long. I talked to Ray about it.
Tessa: What did Ray say?
Rosie: He said there’s nothing he can do about the sex. He can only do something about the music.
And besides she’s moved it to Wednesday night. Must be a salesman.
Tessa: What are you going to say in the letter?
Rosie: I’m going to say ” You really have some guy there, you’re a lucky girl but do you have to scream so loud for so long. Think about your neighbours. You’re keeping the whole building awake.”
Tessa: Are you going to sign it?
Rosie: I think she already knows.
Tessa: Knows what?
Rosie: Knows that I know. I saw her today on her bike. Definitely nothing to write home about. Very ordinary. Anyways, she walked right passed me and ignored me.
Tessa: Did you try say hello?
Rosie: No.  Anyways, maybe I should just wear earplugs on Wednesday nights. He must be married.
Tessa: Okay ma. I gotta fly. Say hi to Jokelee for me. Good luck with your neighbour. Make sure not to talk to her. See ya gaboods.

2 Comments

Filed under Conversations with My Mother

Tagged as , ,