Tag Archives: sex and the neighbours

Conversations with my Mother: The Neighbour

Ring ring:
Tessa: Hello
Rosie: Gaboodle
Tessa: Gaboidle
Rosie: My mutha
Tessa: Is a toitle
After my mother and I get our traditional greeting out of the way, I wonder why Rosie is calling me for the third time this week. And in such good humour.
Tessa: What’s going on?
Rosie: Your sister is coming to stay with me this weekend.
Tessa: Oh yeah. That’s nice.
Rosie: She’s going to help me write a letter.
Tessa: What letter?
Rosie: To the neighbour.
Tessa: What for?
Rosie: The sex.
Tessa: I thought you didn’t mind her having sex.
Rosie: I don’t. But she carries on too long. I talked to Ray about it.
Tessa: What did Ray say?
Rosie: He said there’s nothing he can do about the sex. He can only do something about the music.
And besides she’s moved it to Wednesday night. Must be a salesman.
Tessa: What are you going to say in the letter?
Rosie: I’m going to say ” You really have some guy there, you’re a lucky girl but do you have to scream so loud for so long. Think about your neighbours. You’re keeping the whole building awake.”
Tessa: Are you going to sign it?
Rosie: I think she already knows.
Tessa: Knows what?
Rosie: Knows that I know. I saw her today on her bike. Definitely nothing to write home about. Very ordinary. Anyways, she walked right passed me and ignored me.
Tessa: Did you try say hello?
Rosie: No.  Anyways, maybe I should just wear earplugs on Wednesday nights. He must be married.
Tessa: Okay ma. I gotta fly. Say hi to Jokelee for me. Good luck with your neighbour. Make sure not to talk to her. See ya gaboods.

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