The Relationship Talk

Tessa: Last night Dave and I had a relationship talk. Nothing serious just a little check in to see what’s  up. The actual talk started last week but Dave was in relationship talk denial so it took an extra seven days to really make him realize that there was no escaping me. Knowing that he wasn’t particularly keen I had to try several approaches including having the talk masquerade as another kind of conversation altogether.

A few times he walked out on the conversation because I had so cleverly disguised the relationship talk as something else that he didn’t even know we were having ‘the talk’ at all. Clearly, this called for a new methodology.  So last night I opted for the direct approach. This includes firing off many carefully thought out questions intended to give me a barometer reading of our love. Where are we? Are you bored? Are  you still in-love? Do you still think it’s cute when I don’t brush my bush head for two weeks at a time? Do you love me even if I have egg salad dripping on my chin? Do you still think I’m the best person in the room to talk to? Where’s your wedding ring and did you really lose it?

Of course, having a few glasses of wine really helps and everyone knows that alcohol loosens the inhibitions. Finally at 1:30 in the morning most likely when I was preoccupied pouring my last glass of wine, Dave leapt over the side of the couch and SPRINTED into the bed where he pretended to be asleep when I finally made my drunken giddy way there.  Hmmmmn. Maybe this might have gone more smoothly if he had thrown himself into the Christmas spirit as much as I apparently (and accidently) had. Nevermind. There’s always morning and that’s where I picked up where I had left off.


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