Since the end of February this year I have been working with my naturopathic doctor Stephanie Trenciansky to help alleviate my chronic stomach issues. I already was a non-meat eater and a non-gluten eater but there was still something bugging me enough that I had to talk to somebody about it. My doctor had given me dicetel for when my stomach was upset, but she never actually worked with me to get to the bottom of it. So during Christmas when I went a bit wild HELLO WINE,CHEESE, COOKIES and CHOCOLATE, I made my way through my entire prescription of 50 or so dicetel. Continue reading
Late Nights on Air and The Ten Year Nap
My current schedule of everything including my heavy thinking on training for a triathlon (thinking only at this point folks, no real action taken but thinking requires a great deal of, well thinking), as well as waking up in the middle of the night with creative fb status lines and 140 character tweets about nothing, is keeping me very pre-occupied. This, in addition to the nervewrecking business of trying to sell and buy a house, means that I have no time to do anything like write book reviews. Forgive me but I’m giving in to serious mental laziness. I heard that this is what happens once you reach a certain age. My mother will tell me it’s because I’m airy. “You’re so airy” she told me this week. I’m airy. Airy or not here I go. I won’t be doing these books justice but neither do I want to pass them over because they were great reads.
Over Christmas or sometime around then I read Elizabeth May’s Late Nights on Air. The book chronicles a year (or something like that) in the life, of a small group of people, who find themselves working at a small radio station in Yellowknife, NWT sometime in the 70’s. Eventually a group of four set out on a canoe trip following in the footsteps of John Hornby who perished on his trip through the Barren Strait almost fifty years earlier. There’s something beautiful, quiet and spare about this book.The late night radio anchors’ voices reaching, almost dream like, out to the listeners in this remote community seemed so intimate and personal in spite of the public nature of the medium. The northern landscape also seemed like a character in the story and I found that interesting. But northern life (all life perhaps) is defined by this natural backdrop and I loved how the characters interacted with the landscape sometimes with tragic consequences but almost always as a part of a journey to greater understanding of oneself. Cool book. I’d recommend it.
The latest book I’ve read is The Ten Year Nap by Meg Wolitzer. This book chronicles the life of four women who have chosen to give up their careers and raise children. Now at the age of 40, with their children growing up, they question how they arrived where they are and what it means. At the heart of the narrative is the question of whether women can do it all, should they, and do they even want to do it all? The book almost felt like a sociological study of women in contemporary society. The details and the minutiae of all these women’s lives was so carefully captured that anyone reading it fifty to hundred years from now would have a snapshot of middle to upper middle income women in urban America the early 21st century. It’s also interesting that the mothers of these women made brief appearances offering a historic trajectory of feminism (or the plight of domestication on the female species). Good read.
Filed under Book Reviews
Conversations with my Mother: air conditioning the old Dutch way
Filed under Conversations with My Mother, Random Musing
Conversations with my mother: I miss you. How dare you leave
Tessa: Hi mom.
Rosie: Hi.
Tessa: What are you doing?
Rosie: Crying.
Tessa: Moooom.
Rosie: Well. It’s your fault. I’ve been crying for 25 years.
Tessa: Mother. Anyways, mom. I miss you too.
Rosie: I always wanted a daughter to go to the mall with me.
Tessa: I know mom.
Rosie: Anyways, how was your flight?
Tessa: Good. It was fine.
Rosie: And Dave? Are you still married? You know good men are hard to come by. Look at me and your father. What a bastard. Never mind my first husband. They’re all the same. Even your sister’s husband, he’s not bad. George bought me the flashlight in case the lights go out.
Tessa: No mom. Everything is good. We’re watching American Idol.
Rosie: That’s good. You have to do things together. Maybe sometimes watch baseball with him. Woweee. I love baseball. I wish Dave could have come too. I just look at my bathroom and I want to cry. I’ll pay for him to come. I love him. Maybe he can fix my kitchen too. So handy. You’re very lucky.
Tessa: Alrighty then.
Rose: Your brother called me. He misses you too. Everyone does. Nobody calls if you’re not here. Nobody.
Tessa: That’s not true mom. Johnny comes by every night and Petra phones almost every day and Joke phones you too. So that’s not true.
Rosie: Anyways, you hear about Costa Rica. Your brother is talking about Costa Rica. I won’t get my hopes up. Probably last time I ever travel anywhere.
Tessa: Mother. You’re a spring chicken. Anyways, you can come here too you know. Anyways, I’m going to watch Idol now. You know it’s key to saving the marriage!
Rosie: I loved seeing you on the couch here. It’s like you never left. It still is so terrible.
Tessa: What is?
Rosie: That you left.
Tessa: Oh brother, I’m going.
Rosie: (shouting) It’s TRUE.
Filed under Conversations with My Mother
Conversations with My Mother: I’m much younger than that 65 year old down the road
Tessa: Hey mom, How are you?
Rosie: Great.
Tessa: What’s up?
Rosie: I’ve been telling the world.
Tessa: Who? What?
Rosie: That you’re coming. I went to Loblaw’s told the girl there. Then to No Frills. Told them. Then my dentist.
Tessa: I didn’t know you had an appointment.
Rosie: I didn’t. I just went. We’re going to have a parade.
Tessa: Yeah, you and the Loblaws No Frills people.
Rosie: No really. I’m so excited. Jeanie asked me how old I was I was so crazy. So I told her 83. She said WOWEE. She’s only 65 and I look much, much younger than her.
Tessa: “much, much’ mom?
Rosie: She said it, not me. But she’s right. I look great. More wrinkles maybe but better.
Tessa: You didn’t say that to her though, right?
Rosie: No, but she’s very excited.
Tessa: She coming to your parade?
Rosie: No, she’s coming to YOUR parade.
Tessa: I don’t even know her.
Rosie: Doesn’t matter. Can you believe she’s 65 and I’m so much younger.
Tessa: MOTHER.
Rosie: Well, it’s true.
Tessa: Bye mom.
Filed under Conversations with My Mother
Fay Weldon: She May Not Leave Book Review
Now this was an interesting read. She May Not Leave is by British writer Fay Weldon. In it Weldon tells the story of a young unmarried professional British couple Hattie and Martyn and their new baby Kitty. The narrator is Frances Watt, Hattie’s grandmother who she tells the story of what unfolds when Hattie decides she must go back to work before her year’s mat leave is over and against Martyn’s wishes hires an au pair to care for Kitty.
Soon Agniewska arrives and domestic order is restored to the household. Kitty adores Agniewska, the house is beautifully cared for, and dinner is served on time. The money that Hattie brings in as an editor in a publishing house gives her a sense of well being and self-confidence and eases the financial burden on Martyn. Although she loves Kitty and Martyn, domesticity is a form of imprisonment for Hattie.
Martyn, who works as a writer at a political magazine, doesn’t quite make enough money to support the family which adds significant stress to their lifestyle. Martyn also harbours political aspirations and along with Hattie holds many ‘politically correct views of the day’ including reservations regarding hiring ‘foreign labour’or an au pair.Although outwardly he embraces women’s right to work and equal opportunity he secretly wants Hattie to embrace domestic life and feels betrayed by her desire to bring a stranger into their small home. The domestic bliss that he secretly longs for, however, is quickly restored by Agniewska’s domestic prowess. She performs her domestic duties so well that soon Martyn and Hattie can’t imagine life without her.
Slowly both of their previously held moral objections are eroded as their desire to ‘have everything’overcomes them. Agniewska will stay at any cost even when it becomes apparent that she is not exactly whom she claims to be. When Hattie decided that Martyn should marry her in order to prevent her deportation he agrees and it quickly becomes apparent that perhaps this is exactly what Agnieska had planned all along.
Throughout the narrative Frances Watt threads the story of her own life through Hattie and Martyn’s tale. She and her sisters are raised by their strong-willed mother through the 50’s and 60’s. As a single parent family, their life is precarious and they ultimately spiral down the economic scale. Although Frances and Serena live very full sexually adventurous lives, it’s clear that it’s through marriage, however imperfect they are, that they find security and stability.Those who are left single, much like their mother, are the ones that are left to struggle to raise and care for their children and are often looked to, to take on unwanted familial responsibility.
This is an interesting reflection on the role of marriage in modern times. It seems to me that Weldon uses Frances as a device to comment on the role of marriage then and now. Although marriage offers no easy salve to personal happiness the rules of engagement at the very least appear to be very clear in earlier times. In both generations, however, marriage and domestic life are an arrangement that women must negotiate to ensure a certain type of stability and therefore must be be played on some level. The book at first glance seems deceptively simple but I realized as I was reading it that Weldon presents the complexities of women’s lives and relationships throughout generations quite expertly. She May Not Leave really gives food for thought and is an intriguing read.
Filed under Book Reviews
Hemp hearts – you don’t smoke ’em ya eat them and they’re great.
So Dave came home with something the other day that turned out to be a fantastic discovery. Initially, of course, I was suspicious. Hemp hearts. Ahh huh. They taste good. Right, sure they do. They’re an excellent source of protein. Ya, whatever. Anyways, I overcame my objections in my endless pursuit to find things I can actually eat, only to discover that hemp hearts taste great. They’re nutty tasting, you can put them on cereal, eat them straight up, throw them over salads, bake with them whatever.
I’ve been looking for new protein sources since discovering that perhaps some of my stomach unhappiness might be caused by eating too much soy product. Since I don’t eat meat and unwillingly don’t eat much cheese, I’m dying to find a great source of protein that my stomach likes. And lo and behold, I did. I love this stuff.
One little warning though. Hemp hearts have a rather unique way of pushing everything through your system in a timely manner. It’s quite cleansing.
Filed under Random Musing, Recipes
Grey hair: Does it stay or does it go?
I’ve gone a relatively long time without cavities or grey hair. Sadly my long reigning glory of going without dental work came to an abrupt end this week the exact same time I spotted four ugly, wiry, nasty looking grey hairs on my head. The physical pain of an aching tooth (okay what I really have is a cracked tooth not a tooth with a hole in it) means that there is nothing to consider. My dentist is going to give me lots of drugs and make the pain go away.
The nasty grey hairs are another thing altogether. For one thing, why are they so awful and wiry? So thick, so hard, so grey. How much time can I really spend in the bathroom looking at my head, examining it in every angle of light, slyly trying to get my fingers on just the right one, my crafty determined fingers always just missing it? I remind myself that I must start carrying tweezers. I feel my eyes crossing as I do this, only dimly aware of the passing of time. Crap. Is that another one over there? I’ve only just accepted my mousey ‘caramel’ hair colour. Now this?
I think fondly of my Tante Nel, a fine looking, distinguished woman who always had grey hair. She looked great. Clearly, though, her grey hair is a different animal than mine. I know if I let mine grow in it won’t be fine, it won’t be distinguished. I’ll look like a middle-aged chia pet. Tough, stocky, more like broccoli than the more dignified asparagus.
I know I’m not going for botox, knee de-wrinkling, laser surgery, or any other kind of surgery in order to turn back the clock. Peace be with me. I’m going as gracefully as I can. But really. Do I just let this grow in or do I battle it? Blond highlights, hair rinse, Grecian formula, blue rinse. Suddenly I see why the blue haired beauties came into being.
I’m not rushing out to do anything quite yet. I’m prepared to spend time, tweezers in hand, cross-eyed removing these little monsters one at a time. Until then I will remain, forever yours mousey brown Tessa.
Filed under Random Musing, Uncategorized
IBS suffering: Unloving the foods you love that kill you
For most of my life I’ve suffered from stomach problems. Most IBS sufferers will instantly recognize the story. It goes something like this; you eat something and the next minute you’re dying.
Acute pain is the first signal that you need to find a bathroom, a shrub, anything as soon as you possibly can because if you don’t there’s going to be trouble. And not the kind that is easily socially excusable. It’s the kind of trouble that your friends, co-workers and family will remember and recount for the rest of their days. So you sprint to the bathroom and possibly start praying to god whether you believe in god or not, and then you just hope that you make it. Most often you do, sometimes you don’t. Continue reading
Filed under Recipes
This is my sister Jokelee. 

