My sister and I do this thing every morning. At exactly 8:00 am we phone each other. If I’m late calling she answers by saying “YOU ARE LATE. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” Same goes for her. If I phone and she doesn’t pick up I say “HOW DARE YOU NOT BE THERE?”
Saying goodbye is equally as perilous as not being there to pick up the phone. You always want to be the first one to exit. Those are the rules.Sometimes we trick each other into saying goodbye. I’ll lull her into a false sense of security by pretending to start another conversation and just at the right moment I say “GOTTA GO. I LUB YOU.” You have to hang up immediately after that or you lose.I suspect she has fast twitch muscles because she is like a pixie sprite and can be very fast, very determined little devil.
My sister can’t handle a lot of screaming but she seems to have a high tolerance for my loudness. I recently found myself talking in a circle of friends. But really I was screaming. In fact I was screaming so loudly my friend Christopher said my voice was reverberating in the valley of mountains. And when I paused I heard it so I know he wasn’t exaggerating.
It must be genetic which is most likely why my sister can stand me screaming in our daily calls. She screams too and I think we burn more calories talking to each other than most people do in an entire day of living. We are not half measure ladies.
Lately we have both been stressed.Her because she was diagnosed with brain cancer and me because she was diagnosed with brain cancer.
Recently she recommended the CALM app which truthfully has been a gift. Getting ready for sleep lately has involved a bottle of melatonin in one hand and a shot of vodka in the other. When I discovered the CALM app I was able to let go of both. Now I just have Tamara in the Calm App instructing me to breath in a beautiful calm voice and telling me I’m okay no matter what.
The Calm app is changing our lives. For example, today my sister said the session talking about being broken made her cry. By chance I listened to the same one and I was CALMLY able to say, you’re not broken, we’re perfect as we are. And she said “Ya that’s right we are. ” And we are.
Then I told her that we have to be kind to ourselves because Tamara told us so. Then I told her that I had monkey brain this morning. My thoughts were everywhere and I was struggling to get through the meditation and all I wanted to do was check my facebook page to see if anyone had liked my elephant movie. So my monkey mind made me check my page. “SISTER she said that is the ultimate crime!” But I was quickly able to say no I am accepting myself for all my imperfections and so are you. “TELL ME YOU LUB ME!” “I LUB YOU.”
Sisterhood has changed for me. While it has always been infused with love and friendship, cancer has made me want to draw a tight circle around us. Our circle is a rowboat. We have no idea where we’re going but we fill this boat with a million laughs every day. “My stomach hurts.” she screams as we both laugh ourselves silly in the midst of this serious life. Sometimes she says she has only so many words for a day. I’m thrilled that I have so many of those words. I feel like the words we share are building a beautiful story of our lives, in this moment, in this serious and funny life.