In the absence of my ability to make any kind of decision myself, I will leave it up to you dear readers to lead me out of my current ruffled mental state. What exactly is this kerfuffle about?
It’s about this. Every September I make my way twice a week with my speed skates to the local rink to skate with my group. But I didn’t go this year because Reub was sick and I wanted to spend time with my guy and because I was also taking classes.
The problem is now that I can skate I don’t seem to be able to get there. I pack my gear, bring it to work and then spend the day agonizing about whether I should go or not. And when I say agonize I mean agonize. It’s killing me. And I still haven’t gone which means another week of going through this. While others solve world problems my mind is going in circles (small ones at that).
Snap Shot of the Circular Mind:
I’m going skating. I’m going skating FOR SURE. It’ll make me feel great.
Na – you’ll get cold.
But think how much you’ll laugh .
No you won’t. Talking to all those people you haven’t seen for a while will be exhausting. All that exercise will make you tired.
But you love Agatha and the gang.
I dunno, my back is sore. And my office is so cold I have icicles hanging from my nose.
Forget it, you’ll warm up. You’ll be pulling layers off in seconds.
I can’t remember the last time I sharpened my skates, I might kill myself.
Remember what Jokelee said. Skip the negative stuff and take your brain straight to the reward. The high. She’s always right (older sisters almost always are – I sure wish younger sister would make note of this).
I know what I’ll do, I’ll get in the car and drive. If I end up at the arena then I’ll skate. If I don’t well then I’ll do Jillian Michaels and almost die from my 20 minute ridiculous work out.
Forget it. You’ll see Diane there. You love Diane. She might even do up your skates for you.
Ah yes I know but I forgot my water bottle.
You can buy one there.
You forgot…I’m against the water bottle.
Well, admit it then, you’re nervous because you haven’t skated for awhile.
No that’s not it. It’s the cold thing. The coldest office in the world, the one that makes your nails blue is killing all desire to skate around in circles at break neck speed.
Breakneck is a bit of an exaggeration don’t you think?
You’re right. It’s not exactly breakneck is it?
I know what I’ll do, I’ll ask the first person I see and see what they say.
They said go skating. But when they left they said, “Have a nice evening at home” as if they knew that I wouldn’t go.
So I’m not going.
And so on and so on and so on. And I still haven’t gone. And seriously. I’m not going to be happy until I go. I just need to get there. I’m not like this with everything but I’m definitely in a rut with this one. Someone just strap on my skates and get me some ice.
Condofire 
A Visit From the Goon Squad – by Jennifer Egan (book commentary)
The book essentially follows the lives of Bennie and Sasha. Bennie was a once famous music producer and Sasha is his assistant. The backdrop is the music industry which spans Bennie’s early punk days in California as a teenager to him as a sixty year old man struggling against the changes in a collapsing and every changing industry. Sasha is his longtime troubled kleptomaniac assistant.
How we get to the story of these two characters and sometimes broken lives is told by telling the stories of select other people who’s lives intersect with Bennie and Sasha. Does that make sense? There is no continuous narrative arc which truthfully I found a little strange at first because I just wanted the goods on Bennie and Sasha and each chapter seemed to be about someone else – but then slowly the tableau becomes apparent and you can see the trajectory of two lives lost and then found again (or not but that’s just life) including those of the people around them.
When I think about it – the structure Egan creates is a closer approximation to life in some ways. For example, I have my own life story (which appears as random memories to me and only as a narrative with select details if I or someone else chooses to tell it) and the people who know me have their stories about me including the life changing intersections we all share with each other. That’s how this book works I think.
In the end you have your ‘ah hah’ moment when all the disparate dots come together. Also, Egan frequently drops bread crumbs along the way by unexpectedly telling the reader what happens to a character 20 to 30 years down the road and there’s something very satisfying in that.
Two things that stand out in my mind are this. There is a line in the book when one of the secondary characters recognizes that a single moment in her life has transitioned her from childhood/teenage years to adulthood and that was worth the cost of the book itself. That was a beautiful and difficult moment that I have been left pondering since. What is the single moment that takes a person from one being one thing to another? That transitions you from one life to another, from being one kind of person to another?
Item two relates to what I have just written – I think that many of the characters in this book are forced away or travel away from their innocence Jocelyn/Sasha/Rob/Drew/Bennie/Rebecca/Lou/S – they travel away from potential, possibility, happiness, neat happy endings . Then over the course of the years you witness those small but momentous decisions or life experiences that bring the characters to that next place in their lives. Of course, real life works this way too. It was an interesting book.
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