Condofire

Entries from March 2009

Conversations with My Mother: I’m much younger than that 65 year old down the road

March 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Tessa: Hey mom, How are you?

Rosie: Great.

Tessa: What’s up?

Rosie: I’ve been telling the world.

Tessa: Who? What?

Rosie: That you’re coming. I went to Loblaw’s told the girl there. Then to No Frills. Told them. Then my dentist.

Tessa: I didn’t know you had an appointment.

Rosie: I didn’t. I just went. We’re going to have a parade.

Tessa: Yeah, you and the Loblaws No Frills people.

Rosie: No really. I’m so excited. Jeanie asked me how old I was I was so crazy. So I told her 83. She said WOWEE. She’s only 65 and I look much, much younger than her.

Tessa: “much, much’ mom?

Rosie: She said it, not me. But she’s right. I look great. More wrinkles maybe but better.

Tessa: You didn’t say that to her though, right?

Rosie: No, but she’s very excited.

Tessa: She coming to your parade?

Rosie: No, she’s coming to YOUR parade.

Tessa:  I don’t even know her.

Rosie: Doesn’t matter. Can you believe she’s 65 and I’m so much younger.

Tessa: MOTHER.

Rosie: Well, it’s true.

Tessa: Bye mom.

Categories: Conversations with My Mother
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Fay Weldon: She May Not Leave Book Review

March 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Now this was an interesting read. She May Not Leave is by British writer Fay Weldon. In it Weldon tells the story of a young unmarried professional British couple Hattie and Martyn and their new baby Kitty. The narrator is Frances Watt, Hattie’s grandmother who she tells the story of what unfolds when Hattie decides she must go back to work before her year’s mat leave is over and against Martyn’s wishes hires an au pair to care for Kitty.

Soon Agniewska arrives and domestic order is restored to the household. Kitty adores Agniewska, the house is beautifully cared for, and dinner is served on time. The money that Hattie brings in as an editor in a publishing house gives her a sense of well being and self-confidence and eases the financial burden on Martyn. Although she loves Kitty and Martyn, domesticity is a form of imprisonment for Hattie.

Martyn, who works as a writer at a political magazine, doesn’t quite make enough money to support the family which adds significant stress to their lifestyle. Martyn also harbours political aspirations and along with Hattie holds many ‘politically correct views of the day’ including reservations regarding hiring ‘foreign labour’or an au pair.Although outwardly he embraces women’s right to work and equal opportunity he secretly wants Hattie to embrace domestic life and feels betrayed by her desire to bring a stranger into their small home. The domestic bliss that he secretly longs for, however, is quickly restored by Agniewska’s domestic prowess. She performs her domestic duties so well that soon Martyn and Hattie can’t imagine life without her.

Slowly both of their previously held moral objections are eroded as their desire to ‘have everything’overcomes them. Agniewska will stay at any cost even when it becomes apparent that she is not exactly whom she claims to be. When Hattie decided that Martyn should marry her in order to prevent her deportation he agrees and it quickly becomes apparent that perhaps this is exactly what Agnieska had planned all along.

Throughout the narrative Frances Watt threads the story of her own life through Hattie and Martyn’s tale. She and her sisters are raised by their strong-willed mother through the 50′s and 60′s. As a single parent family, their life is precarious and they ultimately spiral down the economic scale. Although Frances and Serena live very full sexually adventurous lives, it’s clear that it’s through marriage, however imperfect they are, that they find security and stability.Those who are left single, much like their mother, are the ones that are left to struggle to raise and care for their children and are often looked to, to take on unwanted familial responsibility.

This is an interesting reflection on the role of marriage in modern times. It seems to me that Weldon uses Frances as a device to comment on the role of marriage then and now. Although marriage offers no easy salve to personal happiness the rules of engagement at the very least appear to be very clear in earlier times. In both generations, however, marriage and domestic life are an arrangement that women must negotiate to ensure a certain type of stability and therefore must be be played on some level. The book at first glance seems deceptively simple but I realized as I was reading it that Weldon presents the complexities of women’s lives and relationships throughout generations quite expertly.  She May Not Leave really gives food for thought and is an intriguing read.

Categories: Book Reviews
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Hemp hearts – you don’t smoke ‘em ya eat them and they’re great.

March 20, 2009 · 1 Comment

So Dave came home with something the other day that turned out to be a fantastic discovery. Initially, of course, I was suspicious. Hemp hearts. Ahh huh. They taste good. Right, sure they do. They’re an excellent source of protein. Ya, whatever.  Anyways, I overcame my objections in my endless pursuit to find things I can actually eat, only to discover that hemp hearts taste great. They’re nutty tasting, you can put them on cereal, eat them straight up, throw them over salads, bake with them whatever.

I’ve been looking for new protein sources since discovering that perhaps some of  my stomach unhappiness might be caused by eating too much soy product. Since I don’t eat meat and unwillingly don’t eat much cheese, I’m dying to find a great source of protein that my stomach likes. And lo and behold, I did. I love this stuff.

One little warning though. Hemp hearts have a rather unique way of pushing everything through your system in a timely manner. It’s quite cleansing.

Categories: Recipes · Where's my gonch & other stuff
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Grey hair: Does it stay or does it go?

March 8, 2009 · 1 Comment

I’ve gone a relatively long time without cavities or grey hair. Sadly my long reigning glory of going without dental work came to an abrupt end this week the exact same time I spotted four ugly, wiry, nasty looking grey hairs on my head. The physical pain of an aching tooth (okay what I really have is a cracked tooth not a tooth with a hole in it) means that there is nothing to consider. My dentist is going to give me lots of drugs and make the pain go away.

The nasty grey hairs are another thing altogether. For one thing, why are they so awful and wiry? So thick, so hard, so grey. How much time can I really spend in the bathroom looking at my head, examining it in every angle of light, slyly trying to get my fingers on just the right one, my crafty determined fingers always just missing it? I remind myself that I must start carrying tweezers. I feel my eyes crossing as I do this, only dimly aware of the passing of time. Crap. Is that another one over there? I’ve only just accepted my mousey ‘caramel’ hair colour. Now this?

I think fondly of my Tante Nel, a fine looking, distinguished woman who always had grey hair. She looked great. Clearly, though, her grey hair is a different animal than mine. I know if I let mine grow in it won’t be fine, it won’t be distinguished. I’ll look like a middle-aged chia pet. Tough, stocky, more like broccoli than the more dignified asparagus.

I know I’m not going for botox, knee de-wrinkling, laser surgery, or any other kind of surgery in order to turn back the clock. Peace be with me. I’m going as gracefully as I can. But really. Do I just let this grow in or do I battle it? Blond highlights, hair rinse, Grecian formula, blue rinse. Suddenly I see why the blue haired beauties came into being.

I’m not rushing out to do anything quite yet. I’m prepared to spend time, tweezers in hand, cross-eyed removing these little monsters one at a time. Until then I will remain, forever yours mousey brown Tessa.

Categories: Where's my gonch & other stuff
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