Tessa: Hi mom,
Rosie: Hi sweetie, how are you?
Tessa: Ahh okay.
Rosie: I saw your sister today. We talked about how you didn’t have children.
Tessa: Oh yeah.
Rosie: I told her you two were the lucky ones. Children are so rotten today. You don’t know what you’re going to get. Look at those drug addicts that live across the street. They’re only 14 and smoking god knows what. But I said you would have made a good mother. Too bad. Oh well. You have Dave, at least. He’s a great husband. You’re very lucky.
Tessa: Have you booked your ticket for Christmas yet?
Rosie: No I have to sell some furniture first?
Tessa: Why
Rosie: I don’t know how long I’ll live. What are your favourite shows?
Tessa: I dunno.
Rosie: Dave mentioned to me that you’re not so big on television. You know. When you’re married you have to learn to compromise. Can’t be all your way. I don’t want to tell you what to do but if you want to keep him you need to watch TV with him. Lots of it.
Tessa: Right. Are your neighbours still having sex?
Rosie: I don’t hear that old cow anymore. I think all my banging made her stop. I enjoy a good time too you know but that was TOO much. Your brother says he loves you.
Tessa: Yeah, well I love him too.
Rosie: Makes sense.
Tessa: Why?
Rosie: Your both my children and nice people. Why wouldn’t you like each other. You’re just like me.
Entries from September 2008
TV will Save Your Relationship: Conversations with my Mother
September 26, 2008 · 2 Comments
Categories: Conversations with My Mother
Tagged: Conversations with My Mother, motherly advice on everything
Sweetness in the Belly: Camilla Gibb
September 21, 2008 · Leave a Comment
Tessa: I am currently slogging my way through a book I hate, in fact, I haven’t touched it in two weeks, which has given me an even greater appreciation for Camilla Gibb’s Sweetness in the Belly, a little light read I picked up this summer.
I didn’t know anything about this book when I first picked it up. I didn’t even read the back jacket copy so when I started reading the book I really felt like I had been plunged into a completely different world. And I had.
Gibb tells the story of Lily, a little girl English/Irish girl who is orphaned in Morocco when her parents are killed. She is raised by Sufi’s and ultimately led to Ethiopia in the 70s when she is still a young teenager.
She earns her keep with a single woman and her family in Harar, a muslim enclave in predominantly Christian Ehtiopia, by doing household chores and teaching the Qu’ran to the local children who are too poor to attend school.
Here she is deeply immersed in the life, customs and the daily rituals of a rich muslim society where time has almost stood still. Gibbs paints such a vivid portrait of the muezzin that you can almost see the colourful headscarves, smell the coffee, incense, and feel the local customs. Sweetness in the Belly brings the reader close enough to this world that they can almost smell it. It’s this familiarity that allows you to understand the dynamics of how certain customs like female castration take place and the tribal, religious and cast differences that both divide and unite this culture. It also allows you to understand Islam as a faith and a way of life
Because faith is how Lily has protected herself from the changes and losses in her life she guards it fiercely. But it is tested when she falls in love with Aziz a half Sudanese doctor. “The desire to remain in his company overwhelmed common sense; I would pick up my good Muslim self on the way home.” Although he is Muslim he is a moderate muslim who seeks change particularly where women’s health and politics is concerned.
But their relationship comes to a bittersweet end when Haili Salasie’s regime is overtaken by the Dergue, Aziz like thousands of others disappears and Lily finds herself a refugee in her native England.
What I love about this book is that for the first time I was able to understand the cultural dynamic of why and how certain cultural customs take place, and how cultural customs mix with religion to create an entirely unique social mix.
The Islam we hear about in the west is through the lense of post 9/11 where media and propaganda have created a fearful portrait of a militant islam that doesn’t reflect the reality of most of the islamic world.
Gibb’s portrait of Lily’s experience in London as an outsider also really brought home the difficulty and some of the hostility people face when coming to a new country.
On a lot of different levels Sweetness in the Belly succeeded in giving me an insider’s view not only of a woman’s journey to finding her home but also to a world and culture I know very little about. And she told the story in a way that touched my heart.
Categories: Book Reviews
Tagged: Camilla Gibb, Ethiopia in the 70s, islam in literature, Sweetness in the Belly
Speedskating: I love it, I hate it, I love it, I hate it, I love it, I hate it
September 18, 2008 · Leave a Comment
Tessa: Well it’s that time of year again when all the crazy people start to gather in ice rinks around the world. When I say crazy people I of course, include myself because like bees to honey, flies to swatters, horses to grass, I find myself going back year after year, in spite of relentless bitter complaints. I like to say I go because of Agatha Vanderstarre my 76 year old role model who still skates faster than me. Or I like to say I go because of Genghis our coach who I like to think is making me a better person for helping to stave off the dinkle colony that is forever threatening my thighs. Or because my best friend skates but it’s all lies. Lies. I skate because I just want to tell people that I do this freaky sport. I tell them I do it and they’re like really. Speedskating?? And I’m like YUH. When really in my mind I know it’s more like slow speedskating. Because like Agatha Vanderstarre my hero and mentor, I have only one speed and that’s forward. Slow but sure.
If ya’ll wanna join this brutal sport where they think its funny to make you skate for two minutes straight again and again and again with your knee hanging around your ankle in mind blowing pain, give me a shout. You too can be a part of this relentless, brutal crazy group of maniacs who wear tight suits.
Categories: Where's my gonch & other stuff
Tagged: love hate relationship with sports, Speedskating, speedskating Agatha Vanderstarre
Ode to my long distance brother
September 9, 2008 · 1 Comment
Tessa: For a long time now my brother John and I have lived apart. I moved to Vancouver ages ago and even though he and his wife Alison lived here for awhile they chose to go back to Ontario.
Growing up my brother and I had our fair share of fights, and as adults we’ve also had our share of fights but we have always been best friends.
Even though I’ve lived in BC for almost thirty years we’ve managed to maintain a great phone relationship. We usually chat at least once a week, sometimes more and sometimes a little less. We often talk about his kids, or work or what’s going on with either of us but we often are just plain silly. Just as Batman completes the Joker, my brother is my other truly silly half. We laugh alot.
Sometimes I can’t wait to tell him some story that I know will make him roar and I hope he’ll pass it on to his wife Alison.
So when John and Alison decided to go to Peru for three weeks to celebrate their 25th anniversary, I didn’t realize how much I would miss him. My mom called one night to say that Johnny had called and that she had burst into tears when she heard him on the line. “I miss him.” she said. ” He visits me almost every night.”
My brother would never admit that he visits my mom because she needs visiting, he’d say he’s stopping by to have a cocktail with her but I think he’s stopping by because she likes him and needs him to visit.
The thing about my brother is this. He wasn’t raised by a dad who was that great. And my mom was a bit crazy too. Even though he was raised by my sometimes violent dad who was more often than not a jerk, he has grown up to be the kind of guy who decided to break that cycle. He is a great dad, a good husband, a great son and good brother. And he’s wickedly silly and funny.
People like my brother give me hope that you can make your life better than you were taught it could be. That’s why I was so damn happy when he and his wife and son came back safely from Peru and we could resume our regular chats.
Categories: Where's my gonch & other stuff
Tagged: brother sister relationship, family relationships, long distance family relationship




