Tag Archives: motherly advice on everything

TV will Save Your Relationship: Conversations with my Mother

Tessa: Hi mom,
Rosie: Hi sweetie, how are you?
Tessa: Ahh okay.
Rosie: I saw your sister today. We talked about how you didn’t have children.
Tessa: Oh yeah.
Rosie: I told her you two were the lucky ones. Children are so rotten today. You don’t know what you’re going to get. Look at those drug addicts that live across the street. They’re only 14 and smoking god knows what. But I said you would have made a good mother. Too bad. Oh well. You have Dave, at least. He’s a great husband. You’re very lucky.
Tessa: Have you booked your ticket for Christmas yet?
Rosie: No, I have to sell some furniture first?
Tessa: Why?
Rosie: I don’t know how long I’ll live. What are your favourite shows?
Tessa: I dunno.
Rosie: Dave mentioned to me that you’re not so big on television. You know. When you’re married you have to learn to compromise. Can’t be all your way. I don’t want to tell you what to do but if you want to keep him you need to watch TV with him. Lots of it.
Tessa: Right. Are your neighbours still having sex?
Rosie: I don’t hear that old cow anymore. I think all my banging made her stop. I enjoy a good time too you know but that was TOO much. Your brother says he loves you.
Tessa: Yeah, well I love him too.
Rosie: Makes sense.
Tessa: Why?
Rosie: You’re both my children and nice people. Why wouldn’t you like each other? You’re just like me.
Tessa: Right. Anyways, mom I have to go.
Rosie: Okay sweetie. What are you going to do?
Tessa: I’m going to go and watch TV with Dave.
Rosie: Good girl. You have to do these things you know.
Tessa: Thanks mom. Bye! I love you.

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