Category Archives: Random Musing

The Incredible Reuben!

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The Irony of a Beautiful Morning

We parked the car facing the water and watched as fishing boats drifted in and out of the small marina. It was a spectacular fall morning. Not a cloud in the sky. But windy. When I opened the window the sweet smell of apples, rotting leaves and sea air drifted in- what a beautiful fall perfume.

We watched people getting in and out of their cars, dogs leashed and unleashed, running wildly against the wind. Gleeful in that way that only dogs can be – so in the moment. Friends met and wandered together. We watched an older couple take their bikes out – the handsome older man adjusted the handlebars, handed the bike to his wife and adjusted his. They zippered their coats and exchanged a few words – maybe something about how cold it was.

Across from us a woman in an SUV was buckling her toddler in a car seat – the wind blowing her long pony-tailed hair. We watched as her stroller drifted into a sea of pigeons – drafted by the apple sea wind. We laughed watching the scene unfold in front of us and remarked how the pigeons competed for the small morsels of almost nothing. Two black birds landed in their midst and I wondered if they were partners in life. I could see the top of one of their heads – feathers a little ruffled like he had just woken up. Hair tousled.

The woman in the SUV pulled slowly out of the parking lot not wanting to run over the sea of birds surrounding her and laughed as she drove by knowing that we had watched this scene unfold. We smiled back.

Then we sat and waited – listening to the wind – watching the everyday life park tableau unfold all over again. And we waited. Each one of us with a cell phone on our lap.  I wondered who would answer the phone, take the call. And so we waited again. Apple sea air drifting in now and then. A tall ship going by. Another dog. I couldn’t hear it but I felt the ticking of time. Like I have before but in other situations. The agony of a life going this way or that way. Each road entirely different.

When the phone rang it severed the almost cinematic hour we had spent in our dog dirty car waiting to hear news.  And when I answered I felt as unready as I had ever felt about something that I had no control over but life calls. So I answered.

“It’s Dr. Galway’s office” – the young voice said at the other end. “It’s a go”, she said matter of factly. “It’s a go.” I said looking at Dave. “It’s a go.” Those were the words we had been hoping to hear. Our boy is not ready to leave us yet so we proceeded into the breathlessly beautiful fall morning to find ourselves a warm cup of coffee.

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My Ecological Footprint: EEK I Need 3 More Earths!

I started a course called Introduction to Sustainability: From Origin to Application at UBC. One of my assignments is to measure my ecological footprint and put a plan in place to set achievable objectives to lower it. According to the ecological footprint quizz I took this afternoon we would require 3.05 earths to sustain our current lifestyle. Yikes. Clearly my car is putting me at least 3 earths away from sustainable living. The natural capital available to the human population to sustain our current lifestyle is running at a deficit and we are contributing to it. According to an article I read called “State of the World 2010 – The Rise and Fall of Consumer Cultures by the World Watch Institute the average European uses 43 kg of resources daily and the average American (let’s just say North American) 88 kg a day and I am a part of the problem.

Truthfully I have no idea how I am supposed to solve this but it’s an excellent puzzle. Does the largeness of it all stop me from having my party table in the recycling room so I can properly sort all the miscreants in my building. No. But my calculator gave me a simple equation. I use too much. I’m going to put some kind of plan in place that will involve a bike, locally grown food and farmers’ markets, and some kind of light bulb. I’m on it.

You can check out what your footprint is right here:
Ecological Footprint Quiz by Redefining Progress

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First Music: Frank Zappa, Allman Brothers, Led Zeppelin, Steve Goodman

Alison McGhee on her blog has been asking the question – “What is the first album you bought?” Such an innocent question but one that brings with it the fullness of memory.

Immediately my mind cast back to my mother’s apartment where I shared a room with my brother for a short period of my life as a teenager. My mother’s solution to our having to share a room was bunk beds. When the bunk beds arrived my brother declared the bottom to be his and that’s where his 16 year old self built a fort to protect himself from me and the world.

Me? I always wanted whatever he wanted so I was bitter at being left with the top bunk. My little sister revenge was to ask him questions from atop my perch as we were going to sleep and shake the bed furiously if he didn’t answer or didn’t answer what I considered to be correctly. Revenge of the little sister. It’s these things I remember so well.

But this bedroom also served as a sort of living room – not just for him but for us. We lived in a small space and the official living room -belonged to our mom. In “our” living room my brother mostly hosted his friends – Declan and other nameless young men who seemed to come and go making their way gingerly over a small piece of my mother’s red shag carpet that was vacuumed just so -as they tread a path to our room.

And what was in this room were the sounds of an era – Frank Zappa – Mothers of Invention, The Allman Brothers, Led Zeppelin, Beatles, Steve Goodman, Johnny Winter, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, Bob Dylan. And it’s against the backdrop of this music where the first overtures of friendship planted themselves between my brother and myself.

Where we transitioned from quarrelling brother and sister to cohorts and friends. I assisted him in his worldly matters all the while listening to music that initially felt foreign to me and then made me feel like I was part of a club – a special club that existed in that small room for that short period of time.

When my brother left to live with my father he took his albums. My first album I bought afterwards was the Bee Gees – clearly not nearly in the same league of good taste that my brother introduced me to in those heady days of kinship.

Somehow when I think back on this time it was always summer. That hot Ontario sun pouring in our little bedroom window – the two of us sharing a little life together for what proved to be a very short period of time. But man do I remember it.

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Dollarton Highway Chapel

On Dollarton Highway in North Vancouver there’s a beautiful, rustic little chapel. Every day I look at it and feel transported to another time. It helps me breath a sigh of relief when I come over the bridge from work to my quiet little part of the world near the water. It’s small white self feels like the centre of another time and it signals to me “I am home”. I asked Dave to take a photo of it and he asked whether I preferred the black and white version or the colour one. Truthfully, the difference in colour renders the picture in such a different way, it’s hard to say. Thanks to Dave here is a picture of my little chapel – both in black & white and colour.

Church on Dollarton Hwy – North Vancouver

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Conversations With My Sisters: Buy a Cell Phone So We Can End This Drought

Yikes, the phone is ringing!

I am coming to the realization that technology is getting in the way of my relationships. Once upon a time long ago, people used to call me. Not so much anymore. I don’t even look at my answering machine because the only people who leave messages are charity groups. Even my stalwart friend Erica doesn’t phone anymore. “Why would I?”, she says “You don’t answer your phone and you don’t return calls. If I didn’t know better I’d say you didn’t love me.” You see, my preferred method of communication, is text. I like to write people (often randomly) pop in, say hello at all hours of the day and night and then get the hell out of dodge but not before including an adorable emoticon to convey my genuine emotion.

Unfortunately, I am diametrically opposed to one of my sisters. Let’s call her Jokelee. Jokelee (the owner of the late Birdie) is the bastion of non-social communication. She is on facebook but has no friends. The friendly thoughtful algorithm in fb’s sidebar frequently reminds me to help my sister find more fb friends. She doesn’t really need help finding friends. She is the same person who goes to the liquor store and invites half the people in the line-up home for a little dinner for 20.

So while actually talking to my text friendly sister Petra I told her to tell Jokelee to get a cell phone so we can connect. “I’ll mention it to her.” she said.
Me. “Good. Tell her if she needs help texting I’ll teach her.”
Her: Why don’t you tell her yourself?
Me: Because the last time I called (3 months ago) her line was busy and she has no auto voice mail.
Her: Alright. But she won’t do it.
Me: Just tell her.

Next phone call:
Her: Have you talked to her?
Me: No. Did you tell her?
Her: Yup.
Me: What did she say?
Her: Not likely.
Me: Oh.

Many months later. Guilt is setting in. Jokelee is probably really mad at me. What could she be mad at? I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ll send her an email and tell her I love her and mention the phone.
3 weeks later. THE GUILT IS KILLING ME. I’m breaking down. I am convinced she hates me and is seething with anger at some unbeknownst slight I have perpetrated against her person. I should phone. I’m going to phone. When I mention this to my brother he agrees with me. “She’s probably really mad about something. What did you to her?” “I didn’t do anything.” “Well you must have.” he says. Thanks.

So I phone her.

Ring Ring
Jokelee: Hello
Me: hi
Jokelee: Hey!
Me: I figured if I can’t make the mountain come to me I will come to the mountain.
And we erupt into wild laughter.
Jokelee: Petra told me you told her I should get a phone. What the hell should I get a phone for? So I can tweet all of you what I had for breakfast.
Me: You mean text.
Jokelee: Hey I’m tweeting you and everyone else that I’m slicing peaches. How exciting is that? Or that I’m just arriving at your house. Hey I’m tweeting that I’m going to zoomba again! I’ve done a cost analysis of getting a cell phone. I’m not doing it. I think of phoning you but you never answer your phone.
Me: I know. I still won’t answer my phone but my compromise is that I am going to phone you more regularly. The anxiety of not talking to you isn’t good for my soul.

And so our conversation goes. Like sisters. We laughed like the old friends we are. The comfort of family is like fitting perfectly into a curve. It snaps together. We’re over our drought and will continue on. And me. I’m going to try and use the phone. Every so often. Because I’m flexible. Sort of.

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On Chance Encounters with Strangers and Fleeting Friendship – a little story

I stood looking at the sandwich board in the faux french bistro called Ambrosia. The line-up to place lunch orders ran all the way outside the main door, letting the (43 celsius) 104 degree temperatures fan its way inside – I could feel the first drop of sweat appear at the top of my spine. Extreme heat makes me anxious. I looked at my companion, a beautiful older woman, nearing her seventies looking cool and crisp in her matching and impeccably pressed pant suit and perfectly coiffed hair, who had somehow followed me from the elevator of the conference we were both attending to the foyer and now to here.

Even standing in the line-up I wasn’t sure if her intention was for us to lunch together. Her poise and reserve and her general lack of frivolity (of which I have plenty) made it difficult for me to read her. So I stood analyzing the menu, making my way through my food matrix of what I can and can’t eat. Studying menus is like a rubics cube exercise for me and my ailing, finicky stomach so when I finally decided (tortilla soup – hold the chicken and the cheese and potato salad) I looked at my beautiful companion and asked her what she was having. “I can’t decide.” she said. “There’s a lot to choose from, that’s for sure.” I answered. “I think it’s the sun. I’m sure you find it difficult to read the menu too.” “Yes, definitely,” I said lying. “Here I’ll tell you what there is. Quiche with ham and cheese.” “Oh yes that sounds lovely.” “There are two kinds, goat cheese and roasted tomato with a side salad. Or you can have salads, or here let me read the menu.” So I did. From the very beginning to the very end, including dessert. And she looked at me and said, “That was thorough. Thank you. The chalk is so light and the sun has made it difficult. You found that too” “Yes, no worries.’ I said.

And so we waited together in the line-up until she got her quiche and salad and disappeared into the sea of tables. I was still unsure if we were meant to eat together. She never said, I’ll go find us a table. She never waved me down. She just left. And in one of those chance moments of decision-making I decided to follow her. Because I sensed that she was accustomed to being followed. That she was accustomed to paving her own path and that others unquestioningly did as she wanted. Her patrician manner, her still captivating beauty, yielded a kind of power.

So I found her and sat down. And she had waited for me. “Do you want water?” I asked. “Oh yes.” and I got up and wound my way through the crowded restaurant and returned with two waters She still had not touched her food. When she picked up her fork, she nodded as if to say, ok we can start. Let’s begin. And so we did. Her perfectly manicured hands gracefully navigated perfectly cut morsels of food to her mouth. I looked at her face, the slight gap in her teeth reminded me of my own mother. And I wondered who she was, what she was like as a young woman, who her mother was, her family. I could still easily see who she must have been as a young woman. A head turner they would say. A real beauty, others might say or he sure got lucky.

And so our lunch commenced with me asking her questions – where are you from, tell me about your board of trade (of which she was CEO). And so we chatted. She told me how she had moved to this community in rural California. That they had arrived there 23 years ago. That there was a beautiful lake, that it was beautiful and that she had volunteered with the chamber when she arrived and how shortly after, the CEO came to an unfortunate end, and how they had asked her to temporarily replace him. And that 23 years later, she was still there. She told me about the winemakers in her region, and her husband and her two children. All in measured clipped sentences. And then she looked at me and said, “I can barely believe 23 years have passed.” And I understood exactly what she was saying and I simply nodded.

And we continued in silence. I had no plan on asking any more questions – my own personal policy is to stop after 15 – and increasingly I am becoming more comfortable with silence. And to my genuine surprise she began asking questions of me – my work, where I live – and stopped short of 15 but only because she would consider it impolite to be so personal, so intrusive.

And when we were finished she pulled out her compact, fixed her hair, applied fresh lipstick and stood up. I looked at her and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.” “Melissa” she said. “My name is Melissa” as she held out her hand. “I”m Tessa.” “Pleased to meet you.” she said and walked out of the restaurant.

I gathered my things and went outside shortly after her only to see her standing on the street looking a little bewildered. “I’ve gotten turned around.” she said to me. “Which way do I go?” “That way.” I said pointing. “That way.” “Thank you.” she said. I watched as she walked up the street. Her back straight, head held high, cool as a cucumber even against the raging heat of the day. Melissa. I had just had lunch with Melissa.

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The Difference Between Canada & the US

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There is something about the way they pour a glass of wine in the US that I admire. Look at this! It’s perfectly chilled and poured right to the top.There is none of this micro measuring to some invisible point that is far less than half full that dominates the Canadian pouring style. Thanks America for your generosity!

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The Cat Is Out of the Bag. I Am A Happy Wanderer

As if to prove a point to yesterday’s poll asking what kind of traveller you are – today’s travels to Sacramento with my boss for a conference once and for all settles what kind of traveller I am. As if there was ever any doubt!

When my boss told me we had to be at the airport at 5:30 am for a 7:00 am flight, my mind immediately auto adjusted to “I’ll be there at 6:00. 5:30 is far too ambitious.”

So I arrived (after surviving a rather harrowing cab ride wherein my crazed driver kept all the windows open for the entire ride for no apparent reason and talked about donkeys spontaneously bleeding in high arid temperatures) at 5:50 am when I discovered I had buried my itinerary somewhere in the bowels of my suitcase. I dug it out realizing I had no idea what airline we were booked on. After unloading undies and unmentionables on the airport floor, I located my itinerary and started my leisurely stroll to the counter. En route I saw my boss who for some reason was not allowed into the US and had been battling various authorities since the early hours when he had arrived.

He looked at me and suggested I sprint to the counter because check-in closes an hour before departure. So I sprinted only to discover a massive lineup.

Damn – who would have guessed that almost the entire world travels before 6:00 am!

I was called to the front of the line where I quickly discovered that I had forgotten my reading glasses and therefore was obliged to hold my form up to the (now) very stern counter clerk – so she could read out each itsy bitsy box that needed to be filled out to pass through US customs.

Thank god I can really hustle when necessary because by the time I made it through the scanner, got swabbed, removed belt, shoes and god knows what else…. I really had very little time to spare. So shake my booty I did.

Meanwhile back at the ranch – there is no sign of my boss – his British passport causes him no end of trouble. After all his excellent planning and preparation he only just made it on to the flight! The moral of the story? Do what you need to do. You’ll get there one way or another! Or not:)

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Planner or wanderer. What kind of traveller are you?

I am a certain kind of traveller. And if I’m matched with “the other” kind of traveller, it’s very possible that we could kill each other. I started thinking about it the other day when I went to on a business appointment and I had two co-workers with me. Within no time at all we all completely disagreed on how to get there and what tools should be used. I suddenly flashed to the three of us travelling together and just how that would work – flames, protests, screams, stubborn refusal, with the inevitable “let’s all get along” trip to the bar!

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