Conversations with my mother: Dancing with the stars!

Tessa: Hi mom,

Rosie: Ohhhh Tessie. Do you watch Dancing with the Stars?

Tessa: Nope.

Rosie: It’s so good. You won’t believe it. You should see this old man on there. He’s 80 for god sakes. He’s dancing and dancing. He does whatever he wants. No rhythm. Stiff as a wood block. Just like your father.

Tessa: Who is it?

Rosie: I don’t know. Some astronaut.

Tessa: Buzz Aldren?  Buzz Aldren is on Dancing with the Stars?

Rosie: You should see his wife. Old bitty with a 100 face lifts. She looks just like a clown. Always there smiling. Geen gezicht. (not a good sight) What, she thinks she looks good?

Tessa: Yeah, like Joan Rivers.

Rosie: Joan Rivers was never good looking to begin with now it’s worse. But you should see Pam.

Tessa: Pam who? Pam Anderson?

Rosie: I love that girl. So down to earth.

Tessa: Down to earth? What’s down to earth? Her breast implants, her fake blond hair or her Marilynn voice?

Rosie: She’s down to earth. I love her and boy can she dance. The judges love her. They say she is Sexy Sexy Sexy. Me too. They showed her aunt. Beautiful skin just like Pam. She uses Crisco as moisturizer. Says it’s cheap. Who needs all those creams anyways.

Tessa: I think I heard Kate Gosselin was on there.

Rosie: Achh. That woman. Can’t dance. Not one lift, always dragging on the floor. Ohhh, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow night so you can watch it too. Okay?

Tessa: Okay mom. Love you.

Rosie: Yeah, me too. BYE!!!!!!!


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