Conversations With My Mother: Shakin’ it down from the afterlife

Tessa:  Hi mom,  How are you?

Rosie: As well as can be expected given my condition.

Tessa: I know. I’m sorry but it’s solvable, right.

Rosie: Well I guess if it’s my time, it’s my time.

Tessa: Anyways, Dave and I are planning the BIG PARTY. You know next year. I want to make sure you’re coming.

Rosie: Why not have it this year, I could be dead by then.

Tessa: You’re the healthiest 83 year old I’ve ever met.

Rosie: One word. H1N1.

Tessa: Anyways, what else is going on? How’s Tante Aggi?

Rosie: She’s upset. Gypsies stole her bag.

Tessa: There are no gypsies in Mississauga.

Rosie: Yes there are. They have a whole organization set up to steal.

Tessa: Just like dad.

Rosie: Hahahah. You’re right. Your father was a bastard thief.

Tessa: You married him.

Rosie: I know. What did I know. So innocent. Aggi seems sad.

Tessa: Well, I can see that. I mean it must be really hard without Uncle Bernie.

Rosie: I know but for god’s sake. Even if she did pass away, how the hell does she know she’ll meet him up there?

I told her she wouldn’t so she may as well enjoy her life with me right now.

Tessa: That’s supportive.

Rosie: Well, don’t you think we’d all know by now if there was life after death. People have been dying forever and at least one of them would have broken through to let us know.

Tessa: That’s a great point.

Rosie: When I die I’m going to make sure you know there’s an afterlife if there is one. I’m going to come down and shake things so you’ll know. Like bowls and glasses of wine.

Tessa: Perfect. I’ll keep my eyeballs peeled for you. But don’t go just yet. I like all the shakin’ you’re doing right now.

Rosie: Ohhh Tessie!

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